Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a magical kingdom called NeoLodge. It was filled with happy rainbows and beautiful creatures that roamed around and played with the many citizens. Happiness was rampant and the word "drama" didn't even exist in their dictionaries. In fact, soap operas were banned from all local channels! If you wanted The Old and the Sedentary you had to buy cable.Then they all died.
At the edge of the kingdom stood the NeoLodge castle. The entire royal family lived there and governed over the kingdom. The Knights guarded poor civilians against the dangerous thieves. The Jesters painted murals and danced around providing entertainment for everyone. The Town Criers shouted the local news, grabbing everyone's attention. The Squires aided the King and Queen and made sure that the kingdom ran smoothly.
In the center of the kingdom was the Coliseum, where those near and far could play games or have duels. There was also a cute gift shop inside. Who doesn't love cheap keychains?
The NeoLodge Marketplace teemed with activity. Merchants had giveaways and contests. The older generation discussed news and politics with one another. The kingdom was filled with small chat and games.
The royal family was dumbfounded! So that's what happens when you dump toxic waste in the river! The kingdom was devastated and few citizens remained. But those who lived stuck together for years afterwards.
The once busy marketplace now had rotten food and abandoned carts. Rusty nails and banana peels had fallen all over the floor and it was no longer even funny when people slipped on them (although doctors loved the profit from tetanus shots). The astounding Coliseum had to now be rented to high school baseball teams in order to make money. Soap operas and reality shows plagued the televisions.
However, soon the royal family had an idea. First, they cleaned the rivers. Then, they hid the bodies. Finally they devised a plan that would attract many new citizens to the once wonderful kingdom! Thus, SubetaLodge was born!
Welcome to the wonderful kingdom of SubetaLodge! There are places for rent down the street and we would be glad for you to join us.
We beg of you. We promise we are dragon-free and have the lowest rat population in all the land. We hold no liability for any catapult related injuries though. Why not go for a swim in our crystal clear river? But stay away from the lake. It's where we hid the bodies.